God hates Italy: A theory

Every Sunday, like clockwork, the newspaper receives a few faxed news releases from the Westboro Baptist Church. (Here's their Web site: http://www.godhatesfags.com/ Really. I'm not making that up.)

The groups weekend releases usually have to do with the a protest of a soldier's funeral. In the church's twisted way of thinking, god is somehow punishing the U.S. by killing soldiers by allowing queers to live.

They cross the nation protesting soldiers deaths — not just in Kansas where the church is based, but in states across the nation. Yes, they have been in your hackyard.

And while I hate to give them even recognition, I would like to propose a possible theory, along lines they may be able to follow.

Here we go: God Hates Italy!

To quote the Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/5145526/Italy-earthquake-survivors-in-tent-cities-hold-open-air-Easter-services.html):

"As the death toll from the disaster reached 294, priests held Mass in the camps which have been set up by emergency services around the shattered city of L'Aquila and surrounding villages for nearly 40,000 homeless people."

OK, so we are looking at 40,000 homeless people and nearly 300 dead, as of April 12. And the aftershocks are continuing. More buildings may collapse, before this is over.

Why did this happen to Italy? Clearly the answer is God Hates Italy.

Lets look at the reasons for that hate:

• In March, the Pope lifted an excommunication of a bishop who denied the Holocuast ever happened. When alert to this, the Pope apologized, but did not re-excommunicate the bishop. Rome does not have the best history of good relations with Jews.
• Also in March, the Pope, in a message to Africans, said condom use does not prevent the spread of AIDS. Clearly, science and Catholicism do not mix.
• And here's my favorite: Last December, the Pope compared saving humanity from gay behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.
  

And so God issued his edit: Italy must suffer for the hate the Pope has shared with humanity. When the Pope learns to accept queers and Jews and suffers of AIDS are real humans, then, and only then, the future of Italy be assured.

God Hates Italy. (Is that Web site taken yet?)

Take that Rev. Phelps!